Shoe Fly

Shoes can be used for a number of activities.  For instance, I personally use shoes for things like running, walking, golfing, hiking, working, gardening, etc.  Likewise, there are activities I do not use shoes for, such as sleeping, yoga, swimming, bathing, weaponry, and - the most recent addition to my mental list - flying object.  Let me explain.

A couple weeks ago, Stewart came hobbling in from recess wearing only one shoe.  Intrigued, I asked calmly, "Dude, where's your shoe?"
He shrugged, initially offering no explanation, so I pressed,
"Stewart, can you recall the last time your shoe was on your foot and what happened next?"
"Well, um...I think it might be in the bushes." and here Stewart recounted the story of how he'd lost his shoe.  I'll spare you his lengthy version which contained no less than 314 pauses and "ums".  In short, he'd removed said shoe, taken it tightly by the laces, swung it around his head until it reached maximum velocity, and let 'er fly!  And fly it did because not a soul on the playground could discover the location of that shoe.

Now, consequences are a tricky thing when you're a teacher.  You want them to be subtle, yet powerful.  Yelling doesn't do any good.  You don't want to embarrass or cause scenes.  You can't make threats unless you are willing to carry them out and they are legal, and you cannot use physical tactics.  What Stewart did was funny.  I wasn't angry, but if I spent 15 minutes out of every school day solving missing-shoe-due-to-lack-of-intelligent-forethought problems, my students would be in serious intellectual trouble.
 
Stewart was all set to go about his business in one shoe.  I, on the other hand, neither relished the idea of having to remove sharp objects from his foot nor the lawsuit that would inevitably follow.  Instead, Stewart accompanied me to our school's lost and found bin.  I truly thought this was a long-shot.  How many kids could possibly be losing a single shoe on school grounds?

Apparently, a lot.  You would not have believed the plethora of orphan shoes we found in that bin; tennis shoes, sandals, loafers, jelly shoes (yes, jelly shoes) - how so many kids were managing to misplace one shoe and, more importantly, never caring enough to look for it in the lost and found, is beyond me.  But, lucky for me (and not so lucky for Stewart), therein lay the consequence.

I know I said you shouldn't embarrass, but I was left with little choice in the matter and would be lying if I told you I was wholly disappointed.  I cheefully said to Stewart, "Pick a shoe, any shoe!".  As he put a random shoe that sort of fit on his foot, he stared at me as though I had potatoes sprouting from my ears.  It wasn't until we were walking back to class that he gave in to the fact that I was really going to make him walk into the classroom wearing a mismatched pair of shoes.  How uncool.

But after spending the majority of the day in his less than cool shoes, I would be surprised if "flying object" hadn't made it onto Stewart's mental list of things he no longer does with his shoes as well.  One can only hope.