Five Step Program

I am patient.  I believe it is necessary in order to survive in this profession.  I must admit, however, that there are times when I reach a breaking point.  For these rare occasions I have developed a five step program to help me through without destroying school property or harming children.  It goes like this:

Step One: I cease all communication.
Step Two: I look toward the ceiling in hopes that the gods of education will shine down on me with everlasting solutions to the chaos before me.
Step Three: Once absolutely positive that there are no gods of education shining down with anything remotely helpful, I dramatically hide my face with my hands and pretend I am somewhere else.
Step Four: Whilst hiding, I take several moments to purge my mind of the various expletives that have taken root while at the same time letting out an audible moan.
Step Five:  Slowly, I remove my hands from my face, hoping that my students have witnessed steps one through four and have corrected their behavior on their own.

(Note: To date, this five step program has proven ineffective.)

A couple weeks ago I was on step four, mentally preparing myself for the big reveal of step five, when I heard a voice only inches away from my hiding place, 

"Mrs. Plant, you look really beautiful today."  I peeked through my fingers to find Ella, a genuine gap-toothed smile gracing her innocent face.  "That green is a good color on you."

In a split-second the program, and my reasons for embarking on it, had dissipated into thin air. 

Forget five step programs when sincere flattery is an option; especially when it comes from a 6 year-old.