Aw Nuts

We read a story in first grade entitled Lost! It's about a boy who meets up with a big grizzly bear that has managed to get himself lost (thus the title) in the middle of the city. Understandably, the bear is very upset and confused. Honestly, what bear wouldn't be given this situation? The boy, being the good Samaritan he is, makes it his responsibility to help the bear find its home in the forest.

Naturally, after the class has read this timeless adventure, in an attempt to make the story more memorable, I ask the thought-provoking question that all students should be required to ponder: What would you do if you came face to face with a bear in the city? Standard answers include: I would help the bear get home, I would be scared, or I would be the bear's friend, among other similar variations of the same answers.

This was the case until Christian came along.

Christian was a pint-sized kid with a gallon-sized attitude (he once threatened me with "a power of attorney"). Christian was intelligent. And Christian was not to be wooed by some make-believe story about a boy and his bear friend like those other naive 6 year-olds. No.

"Christian?" I asked when he raised his hand. "What would you do if you came face to face with a bear?"

"KICK HIM IN THE NUTS AND RUN!" he shouted, pride written straight across his sunburnt face.

And what could I say? The boy was right. We really shouldn't be teaching students to approach bears, should we?