Check Out My Quad

Whenever my new class list is posted, the first thing I do is check for duplicate names.  That may seem a bit odd.  You might expect that I would immediately scan the list for the so-called "terror" from Mrs. Collins's kindergarten class; the one I had to pick up and carry across the foyer to the main office, my shins in no shape for a repeat performance for several days after.  Or the younger brother of that other student I had; the one who opened every last marker in the tray, scribbled over every last inch of whiteboard, then left every last marker lid in some undisclosed hiding place not necessarily within the walls of my classroom.  But no.  Not since the year of the four Austins have I first checked for anything other than repeat names. 

Yes, four Austins.  In a class of only nineteen students, four of them were named Austin; Austin B., Austin L., Austin W., Austin Z.  Fortunately for everyone involved, they all had different last initials, otherwise I would have had to get creative by calling out something like "Blond Austin!", undoubtedly resulting in a long conversation about whether their hair was truly blond, dirty blond, or simply light brown.  And it would not have been in anyone's best interest to go by personality traits or past behaviors, "Austin Who Barks Under His Desk, can you tell us the contraction for will not?" or "Austin Who Chews On His Pencil, will you please point to Utah on this map?"  Not only would that have taken too long, but it might have proved embarrassing for one or two of the Austins. 

Since that year I've only ever had as many as two students with the same name in any of my classes (no real challenge there), but I still can't help checking before doing anything else.  You never know how much time I might need to determine the most appropriate forms of address and, in my case, it's probably better to decide before really getting to know them.