Live Animals

Before I tell this story, you must first understand that a first grader's sense of humor is still in its most primary of stages.  "Funny" at this age includes goofy faces, obnoxious noises, and confusing jokes like this one:

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Shiny whale.
Shiny whale who?
Shiny whale wants to eat your pants!

It is terribly difficult to affect a believable laugh after this kind of amateur humor - if one can consider these things humor.  So, with this glimpse into the mind of a first grader, read on...

A field trip was scheduled for the next day.  Our principal had given us an official list of bus safety guidelines and rules to discuss with our students.  The list included the following:

Pupils must remain seated while the bus is in motion. 
Pupils are not to extend their hands, arms, or heads through bus windows. 
Loud, vulgar or abusive language or behavior is prohibited. 
Pupils must not open or close windows without permission of the driver.
Pupils must keep the bus clean and refrain from damaging it.

The possibilities for humor within this list were endless.  Just the fact that they chose the word "pupil" was enough for me; however, the students would not have understood, so I kept my comments to myself. 

The last rule was:

No item will be carried on the bus which could create a hazard to any passenger including, but not limited to: live animals, skis, skateboards, glass objects, etc.

In an attempt at making the students laugh I said in my most dramatic voice, which you have to use so they know you're being funny, "Bummer!  We can't bring our live animals on the field trip!"

Without so much as a skipped beat, Hayley responded with,  "Can we bring our dead ones?"

Touché, Hayley.  Touché.